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Thursday, November 5th, 2009
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This happened a month ago and i never saw it? Old news? Fuck you all >:(
This is from Conan O'Brien but conservative nutjobs LOVE IT and are masturbating all over it on YouTube. So it's hilarious x2!
"Punks" Michelle Obama, oh my goddddd
Also I'm stealing this from ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) chenry because i've watched it about 10 times now:
Victim In Fatal Car Accident Tragically Not Glenn Beck
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Comments: Read 2 or Add Your Own.
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Wednesday, October 28th, 2009
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Explaining to room mate why i have completely changed my Halloween costume direction as of 4pm today, three days before halloween:
"You see Anthony- if you're a female, and you have long dark hair, and
you're looking around the thrift store and they just happen to have
a red trench coat...you gotta take it! And that's it.
Nobody chooses a Carmen Sandiego costume,
the Carmen Sandiego costume chooses you."
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Comments: Read 7 or Add Your Own.
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Monday, October 26th, 2009
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Geocities is gone :(
One of the teams trying to archive the whole thing compiled every UNDER CONSTRUCTION gif they could find. Stare into the void!
Sometimes i miss the old internet, this stuff feels like home. I miss how only people with mad nerd skills could make pages that looked good, everything else was THIS stuff... this blinking spinning collage of gifs. It was a kind of outsider art.
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Comments: Read 5 or Add Your Own.
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Thursday, August 13th, 2009
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NOOOO no no no
nooooooooooooooooooooooo
Current favourite: the foodseller guy @ 4:33
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Comments: Read 12 or Add Your Own.
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Saturday, July 25th, 2009
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Some friday nights you go out and do stuff.
Some friday nights you stay inside and get classy as fuck by adding JD to your McDonalds large coke, getting drunk alone (on your new drink which you have named the JDMcD) and talking to the internet while listening to Parabol/Parabola on repeat for over an hour straight.
(Tool fans, so annoying, i knooooow)
When i saw them it was in an opera theater/performing arts centre and i'm sad to know that i will never see another show with such utterly perfect sound quality. The sustained guitar notes at the end (@ 8:43 in that video) shook the entire venue like an earthquake. I mean the seats fucking rumbled as the shockwave hit them. You could feel it inside you. There was nothing except that sound. It was SO LOUD. It was almost religious.
I left the place dizzy and disoriented.
(Tool fans, so annoying, i knooooow)
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Comments: Read 3 or Add Your Own.
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I like questions!!!
Questions by id_engager:
1. who is that in your icon?
It's Miyu from this image. I don't know why she appears to be eating a flower.
Vampire Princess Miyu is where all these icons of mine came from:
Soooo I have a lot of anime icons for someone who doesn't give much of a fuck about anime.
2. what do you do on the weekends?
Every day is the weekend when you're funemployed!
But weekends (actual weekends, not the 24/7 weekend I'm having) are a good time to see friends who work strange schedules. Really I don't like weekends too much because there is too much pressure to DO SOMETHING FUN. I also try to watch SNL every week without fail, I don't even know why, I am the only person i know who does this.
3. if canada exploded or you got kicked out or something would you move to the united states?
Noooo, i would go to Norway.
I like things to be as cold and as left-wing as possible, you see.
Countries I'd move to if Canada exploded are in this order: Norway, the other Scandinavian countries (Denmark, Sweden, Finland, Iceland), the Netherlands, Switzerland, France, New Zealand, Australia, USA.
4. how many languages do you speak?
Only English.
After 10 years of mandatory French lessons I have retained enough to put me on par with a French preschool child :/ I'm slightly better at reading it though. I like to watch the Magic Bullet infomercial in French.
5. do you like ice cream cake?
Not much, I don't like the density. I'd rather have just cake or just ice cream.
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Comments: Read 11 or Add Your Own.
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Well whatever, for some reason I want to tell you my favourite Michael Jackson memory.
I had just gone back to school in 2007 and it was like day 3 and i was sitting in a hallway in the dance wing. It's an art college so this was in the music theater building. Yes a whole building of music theater majors, can you picture it???
This was where they had set up the government student loan people so i was sitting there filling out forms, across from the large frosted windows of the dance studios. I was mostly alone, classes had started.
A guy came running down the long empty hallway, swearing and freaking out and flapping his hands as he went. He was wearing a neon leotard dance ensemble with leg warmers and all, and carrying fancy shoes in one hand. "Oh crap oooooh crapshitshitshitSHIT oh my GAWD oh fuck!!!" and he ran into the studio in front of me.
From within:
"Well JORDAN! How nice of you to finally join us! Okay people, from the TOP! five-six-seven-eight..."
Then came the blasting tones of 30+ people TAP DANCING along to The Jackson Five's Blame It On The Boogie. It was amazing. I ran over to the wall and pressed up against the frosted glass desperate to see what was no doubt epic. I was in an absolute panic to get into that studio. I could see nothing of course, no matter how i tried :(
As soon as the song ended, the teacher launched into a tirade against the class, much like the choreographer from The Simpsons- "Okay people that was CRAP! I said 'step pause turn pause pivot step STEP', not 'step pause turn pause pivot step pause'! *shudder*! We'll have to do it AGAIN!"
And so they did.
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Comments: Add Your Own.
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Wednesday, November 5th, 2008
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Tuesday, September 23rd, 2008
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Oh hi.
At work today some chick brought her two tiny little dogs with her. Not at my company, thank god, but in one of the other offices in the building. I don't know what kind of dog but they were of the little yippy variety that can fit in a purse.
I am not a fan of people bringing their dogs to work with them. If i was interviewing at a place and found out they have dogs running around the office, my chances of accepting said job would be quite low. And it's not just because i hate dogs. [And you know, I'm not allergic but sometimes i wish i WAS allergic to dogs so i could have a more socially acceptable reason for wanting them the hell away from me. Fuck it, from now on i'm just going to tell people i'm allergic. Sweet.] I love the hell out of cats but i don't want to work in an office with them. I can't get into it, it's unprofessional. Keep pets at your house. Unless it's a fish or something.
So I'm in the bathroom at some point in the afternoon and the chick comes in, bringing both dogs in with her! WTF WHY??? And the dogs are running all over the place, in and out of the stalls until they get to mine, and for some reason i don't mind telling you internet that i was mid pad change at that point and dogs love that shit. Yeah you read it, you can't un-read it. Sorry.
So i'm silently freaking out and trying to shoo them away while their owner chick is giggling a few stalls down.
And she's like: "Oh, I guess you've got some little visitors over there! Tee hee hee!"
And i'm like: "A-HA-HA-HA yeah I guess not having fucking animals walking freely into the stall while I'm on the can is just too much to ask for in a place of god damn business, right?"
Nah i didn't really say that.
I need a nap.
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Comments: Read 6 or Add Your Own.
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Tuesday, September 2nd, 2008
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Don LaFontaine is dead!!! Noooooooooooooo
I'm actually fairly upset :(
Movie trailers will never be the same.
Now watch this amazing video of the 5 biggest trailer voiceover artists in Don's limo together:
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Comments: Read 2 or Add Your Own.
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| Time: | 8:25 pm. |
| Mood: |  disappointed. |
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Only 3 i didn't know.
I should probably be ashamed.
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Comments: Read 5 or Add Your Own.
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Wednesday, February 20th, 2008
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Dear thetruth.com,
Your "Useful Cigarette" section mentions that cigarettes contain Urea, which you call pee and make references to it being actual urine.
Urea is NOT urine. It is a compound that's found in urine (like many other compounds) but the urea that is commercially used in products like cigarettes is chemically synthetic. It was never urine, it does not come from urine.
Here, let me tell you about some other things that urea is used in:
(source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Urea)
-A browning agent in factory-produced pretzels
-An ingredient in some hair conditioners, facial cleansers, bath oils, and lotions
-An ingredient in many tooth whitening products
-A cream to soften the skin, especially cracked skin on the bottom of one's feet
-An ingredient in dish soap.
Oh no Truth! Look out! there's pee in your pretzels, toothpaste, and shampoo!!
-jen
EDIT=====================
They sent me this hilarious form email back! (emphasis mine)
==========================
We're sorry you think our truth campaign sucks, but on the other hand, isn't it great to live in a country where everyone's opinion is fully embraced?
And really, that's what truth is all about: Protecting individual opinions and the right to make choices based on facts and knowledge.
Because knowledge is a good thing. And we think all opinions and decisions should be made intelligently and be based on a solid factual foundation. So, truth's one and only goal is to spread information about tobacco. It's our focus. It's what we do.
Take for example our "Profiles" TV ad. This stuff is all taken from Big Tobacco's own documents. Straight from the people who make and sell cigarettes. Their words. This is how they refer to the human beings to whom they sell their deadly products.
Again, we're sorry to hear you're not digging our truth found campaign, but as long as there's an industry out there whose products kill nearly 440,000 Americans a year, we're not going anywhere. And if we should happen to stir up a little controversy along the way, uncovering the consequences of Big Tobacco's actions in our world, well, that's a chance we're willing to take.
Thanks again for your thoughts,
truth
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Comments: Read 4 or Add Your Own.
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Thursday, February 14th, 2008
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Wednesday, February 13th, 2008
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It's a well known fact that Garfield is not funny. Everyone knows this.
However, the internet discovered some time in 2006 that by removing Garfield's speech bubbles- it became funny!
Just google, you can find many examples of this originating from the Perry Bible Fellowship messageboard (PBF is A++ as well).
Well, then some true genius went one step further and showed the world that by removing Garfield entirely it suddenly becomes THE GREATEST COMIC STRIP EVER. So dark. So bleak.
For example, here's four that i whipped up just now:
And just in case you're the last person online to see this: Lasagna Cat
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Comments: Read 4 or Add Your Own.
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Friday, November 9th, 2007
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Wednesday, October 31st, 2007
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| Time: | 1:49 am. |
| Mood: |  chipper. |
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I'm starting to think maybe this town isn't so bad anymore...
The video store across the street was robbed last week- at swordpoint.
fuckit, that guy totally deserves the $1500.
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Comments: Read 7 or Add Your Own.
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Friday, September 7th, 2007
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Arial-i hate arial with a flaming passion. I'm going to tell you why:
When teachers first started typing out quizzes and tests and instruction sheets on computers (those sad little tiny grey box apples that i think they bombarded schools with for free in the late 80's when i was in elementary school) they didn't have the capacity to think of using any font other than arial. The computers only had like 6 fonts at the time, but still. I was just a little kid but my font love and sensitivity was already strong i guess. As a result i relate arial with math tests and lazy teachers. It's just so ugly. Same with most of the original Apple fonts. Chicago and especially fucking Univers (Univers Light Oblique being the Mac keyboard font which reminds me of using a Mac, which i also don't enjoy).
Univers...just look at it! It's such a weak thin little font.
I hate these typefaces so much i usually remove them right away from every computer i've ever owned.
Except Garamond, which is beautiful and perfect.
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Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.
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Tuesday, September 4th, 2007
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Well, i'm ready to die now, since i've just heard a Fox reporter say "Truly epic lulz".
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Comments: Read 7 or Add Your Own.
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oh, internet.
They see me rollin'
They hatin'
They LOLin'
Cuz I'm all dressed up like a furry...
Wait...i think i could really go somewhere with this. What rhymes with "horrific embarrassing failure"?
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Comments: Read 6 or Add Your Own.
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